Man, this year has been crazy.

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By the moment I had decided that I would make a gap year out of 2013, I knew that I would have QUITE a lot of free time~ and I didn't have much of a choice actually because I was transferring from one university to another and I was late for the signups... I didn't know that there was only one chance of signing up because of, well, yearly assignments; while I was used to having half-yearly assignments and even being allowed to be at the classes just as an auditor, or whatever you call it.

Anyways, this year I've been pretty much my sister's housewife (yeah), cooking food, doing the groceries, RARELY tidying up the apartment (Actually she was the one who cleaned the apartment; I just, welp, have my own sense of tidyness XD), and stuff like that; while she was the whole time studying and scoring A+ after A+ the whole time.
So besides the occasional housework, I've been literally doing nothing but drawing, and occasionally playing games and stuff like that.

I should note that, as it happens with most "adult" artists, I wouldn't ever let ANYONE from the real world have not even a HINT to the fact that I draw... well, this stuff. To most people I'm just your average computer geek, and to some other's I'm your "casually talented" pianist and generally all-around musician, but luckily I never got labeled as "an artist that draws- stuff" or something like that.

But now I've gotten used to living life as I've been living this year; enclosed in my apartment, leaving only to meet the usual non-talkative people at the supermarket, intentionally avoiding contact with my real life friends so I don't have to lie to them when they ask me "Hey buddy. What have you been doing this whole time?", or the one I fear the most... "I've seen your drawings"... shit, If I ever hear that I think I'll drop dead.
Even though I think that the outcomes might be that either they accept it and then move  on as if nothing happened, or they freak out and never talk to me again... I can feel my heart racing fast whenever any kind of art related topic pops up.

-"So, what have you been up to lately?"
-"Eh, nothing much..." (Just drawing stuff and porn of pokemon 247, not a big deal at all)

And also:

-"YOU'VE BEEN THE WHOLE YEAR JUST SLACKING OFF, YOU BETTER STUDY NEXT YEAR"
-"Shut up, I've been QUITE busy lately!"
-"YEAH? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?"
-"..."
-"WELL THEN?"
-"Well, who do you think is in charge of cooking? EH?"

Urgh.

And on top of this, my choice of using the same username I've always used for any kind of website only makes things even more intense... 18 months ago, you would google "elPatrixF" and all you'd find was a couple of photos, youtube video thumbnails, screen captures of some of my new, old and older games; stuff like that.
Now, If you google elPatrixF, the whole screen fills out with naked pokemon, my profiles in different art sites. I still can't believe, though, that my website still comes up first, even before my deviantart.

...the only one person from my real world who KNOWS that I draw this kind of stuff is my sister, who found out around the month of April I think, when I was most excited making money out of commissions and couldn't hide it pretty well... She hadn't even seen any picture though, and I remember clearly what she said when I showed some to her... "Hey wait, this isn't porn, this is ART!".

If that isn't motivation I don't know what the fuck it is then.

I rarely show her any of my works, even though she KNOWS what I do and I'd actually love to share some with her; I just don't want to make her feel uncomfortable looking at something that... well, mother fucking pokeporn.

I feel that I should have a speech written down somewhere and be prepared to explain all these stuff to anyone from the real world that finds out that I draw this. I would have it readied as much as bangs has her "I-don't-have-eyes speech" prepared for everything... I'm sure that this year I've tasted the "free sample" of what it means to be an artist and there's still a loooong way to go.

Next year, around March or April, I'm starting all over at a different university, forgetting about the "engineer" title and aiming a little bit lower at being a "technician" instead...This time I don't know anyone around and I'm completely alone, by myself. And having taked an entire year far from the usual crowd of people, and even farther from having a normal sleeping schedule.

Frankly, I am very scared of what's going to happen next year... I don't even know what to expect.

But I know something for sure, I don't regret having lived this year the way I did.
I literally changed studying for drawing, at least for this period of time.
I met a lot of people, had a lot of happy moments, learned a lot of things about drawing, I even forged myself some sort of "style", joined a lot of art sites, went from having less than 100 watchers to OVER 2000 watchers, WORKED and got paid by drawing commissions, saw my very own characters drawn by other people, and drew awesome characters for other people as well...

Man, this year has been crazy.
I haven't done anything this year and yet I did quite a lot.


BRING IT ON 2014, HERE I COME!!!







PD: I decided to repost this thing as a journal. It was originally this submission's description.
© 2013 - 2024 elPatrixF
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KuroNetsuki's avatar
eh, yo alguna vez tuve ese pendiente, pero eso fue hace años,      la verdad ahorita ni lo oculto de mi familia ni de mis jefes y nada cambia, todo fluye bien en la vida,    eso si, toma algo de tiempo buscar la manera de hacerlo saber al mundo, y no es facil, pero no muerden, creeme~