Hey there; thanks for visiting my profile page *u*/|
No, I'm actually not sorry.
Yes, click here if you want pokemon.
No, I don't RP. Don't make comments like that here please!
No, I don't have neither a 3DS nor a DS; don't ask me for a friend code.
Sí, obvio que hablo español bolas tristes.
EDIT: 19/OCT/2014 i'm feelin better now guys~ but I'll just leave this journal up for the time being. I want peeps to know that I sometimes go through this shit and that it's something that happens to everyone.
I still hope to find something interesting to draw that drives me to the point of O SHIT YES I WANNA DRAW THAT but up to now it has all been boring shit and MEH meh everywhere.
I’ve resolved to do something else instead as to clear my mind a bit but the only thing I’ve come up to is playing games and shit like that and all games suck. Really I appreciate your help a lot but the shitty mood I am right now I jump from game to game like “expecting it to suck” already and I know it doesn’t help at all to be so negative beforehand but I can’t help it. Last night I jumped from game to game and I didn’t even last 3 minutes on each, it was just loading sega genesis roms, 32x, then jumping to daytona usa on the model 2, virtua fighter 2, then went back to genesis to play virtua racing, then knuckles chaotix, then daytona usa 2, then wanted to check someting online I don’t even remember what but BAM no internet, fuck this shit i’m off to bed.
either way I feel dead inside nothing is fun nothing is interesting nothing HAPPENS and I don’t want to make anything happen because idk I could be a limbless bag of flesh and I probably wouldn’t do any less than I’m doing right now. I know I have to MAKE things change but I feel like I can’t.
I don’t want someone to talk to, I just want someone to talk to me; like, about any shit, I like listening to people about stuff they like I really do, I’m betting it could just lift me up somehow to become interested in the stuff they’re doing and shit. Up to now it has been the shit that helped me most; just plain ignoring the fact that I’m sad and talking about good stuff. Not like GOOD HAPPY CHEERING stuff but actually RAD COOL LIKEABLE stuff, not the facebook-cheer-up tier shit.
I’m going to feel like shit after posting this probably and I do really appreciate every single one of you that has said that you’ll be there for anything If I want but that’s like saying “HEY I’M HERE IF YOU NEED ME” but my stubborn subconscious unbreakable mentality of I DON’T NEED ANYONE just fucks me up so bad that to the point of preventing me to talk to ANYONE first at all- not because I don’t need it but because SOMEHOW THE SHITTY MOOD I’M STUCK INTO PREVENTS ME FROM WANTING TO DO THINGS THAT I NEED TO DO AND I CAN’T FOCUS ON STUFF.
every time I post one of this rants I lose an irreplaceable bit of professionalism and I become more of a dumb angry depressed person that doesn’t look at all as an artist and probably would be better off disappearing from anywhere but don’t worry guys I won’t kill myself. I’d probably accidentally cripple my hand but not on purpose BUT I WOULDN’T KILL MYSELF THAT’S FOR SURE so don’t send me those shitty suicide hotlines, I wouldn’t even care for them anyway because of the “not needing anyone” intrusive thought
so long story short and tl;dr I’m starting to feel like I have built massive walls of thick glass around me and I gave up breaking them
sorry for the rant
Charizard, Growlithe, Arcanine, Scyther, Jynx, Articuno, Moltres, Mewtwo, Bayleef, Pichu, Blissey, Blaziken, Lairon, Bagon, Salamence, Latios, Deoxys, Lumineon, Palkia, Dialga, Shaymin (Land forme), Audino, Venipede, Whirlipede, Whimsicott, Scraggy, Scrafty, Zorua, Zoroark, Mienfoo, Zweilous, Hydreigon, Cobalion, Terrakion, Virizion, Reshiram, Pirouette forme meloetta, Frogadier, Greninja, Florges, Furfrou, Doublade, Espurr, Meowstic, Aromatisse, Tyrantrum, Pumpkabooo, Noibat.
Pokemon will be added or removed from this list at any time.
Golbat, Voltorb, Electrode, Ditto, Crobat, Gardevoir, Riolu, Lucario, Tornadus, Thundurus, Landorus, Binacle, Barbaracle.
Pokemon might be added or removed from this list at any time.